Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
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