Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i wish my penis had a tongue
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
