Fuck appropriateness.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
