And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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