Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
did i just pee glitter
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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