I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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