Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
