Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize