My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
