Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
