i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
