dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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