help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
