She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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