Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
