i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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