i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
