have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
