Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
So apparently I’m into choking now
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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