saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
