Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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