You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I am midnight drunk by noon
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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