All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
