great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize