She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
