the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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