it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
