Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
