the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
