What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
