He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
My bed smells like the plague
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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