it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize