white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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