Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
it glows. i had to have it.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize