all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
