...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
