I love black thongs
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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