i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
