I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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