Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
