i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
