My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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