dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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