found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Pooping to opera.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
