In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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