I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
