At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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