I am puke
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
