Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
is it fun? or sober?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
