Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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