There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
