What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
