So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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