You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Drunk is a universal language darling
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