I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
