I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
